Testimony

I pulled the trigger when I said it's okay.
I should have heard my heart break, but it was all just a haze.
One little yes, one little lie
One slope so slippery I tried to hide

The knife cuts through, my flesh a map
My skin tough as nails, so easy to crack
Felt pain when confronted
Tucked safely underneath.
No one to see me
The real me
The enemy

Then a sting. A wake up call. A burn in my side.
God steps out in war against my religious pride.
Not a chance from the beginning I tear at my control
He chooses suffering, to save what I stole.

In shame I tried denial, if I look away does He exist?
Clothing fear with courage,
A God I could not resist.

And in my own reality, I justify my end.
I turn circles in the darkness,
And He disciplines, to mend.

And so His battle cry cuts through,
Stark contrast to this night.
Like lighting in this dark cloud life,
He strikes and I am given sight.

Poor in spirit I fall helpless,
Given strength in my weakness

And My face is to the ground
And I am no longer bound
To this lacquered covered plate,
Silver platter, world of hate.

Take my hope, my dreams, my fate.
Keep it all, inside your gate.